Call it a New Years Resolution, call it steps to healing, but I’ve decided it is helpful to me to get some of my thoughts out into the world, and even it touches one other human in a positive way, it’s worth it.

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So everyone has one main thing they struggle with, mine is looking back and thinking “I did what?!, omg no.” In almost those exact words. Dramatic maybe. I obviously remember what I did, but it’s grasping the idea that it’s a part of my story. My therapist calls it shame, but that sounds sad, and I don’t like to be sad so I’m calling it a lack of understanding. Sometimes I think we make certain decisions or take certain paths that we aren’t really sure we wanted, so inevitably we “regret” them, but regret is also not my favorite word because I mean, is it really regret if we picked ourselves back up and learned a thing or two. Not really.

Without going into the juicy details, because they really are juicy and I’m not sure I’m ready for all of that…but I have portions of my life that are for sure Lifetime movie worthy. Like get your bag of popcorn, ice cream, crunch bites, whatever, sit back and enjoy the show. After some seriously deep soul searching, it is something that I’ve actually found a way to embrace. On this day, coming to end of 2018, I have 4 healthy, smart, beautiful children and a job I could have never believed I would succeed at.

There are always consequences though, and fair enough, (sometimes feels like hell), but it doesn’t have to mean there’s a giant unmovable roadblock dropped down in front of you. So next time you look back and think “OMG I did what?!”…shake it off, you did that thing you did, went through that thing you went through and it’s ok, because knowledge of life experience (even if it sucks) is priceless.

My kids aren’t going to be perfect, but they will know it’s ok to make mistakes, and it’s even better to learn from them. They’ve watched me make plenty of mistakes, but they’ve also seen me come right back full speed like a Mack truck and kick it’s a$$.

PS. The opinions of others on your life can be really great with good intention, but they can also be harmful. I always try and respect the opinions of others until it affects the peace that I work so hard for.

Know your truth.

“You can’t skip chapters, that’s not how life works.

Stories keep the world revolving. Live yours, don’t miss out.”

xo

It’s October, in 2018. You wake up and all of the sudden realize you have committed to so many things and have so many children that it feels like a weird dream.

But it a strange way, you love it. I am usually late everywhere I go, my kids eat breakfast in the car on the way to school because that is what works, my 6 year old feeds the cat every day, or who knows if that would get done, I took the sheets off of my bed 2 days ago and still they aren’t washed, and my daughters lunch is on the counter right now and she’s already at school.

That’s just the beginning. I run a photography business that has me doing over 250 sessions a year. I did over 30 sessions September alone. This isn’t a brag session, honestly, I suck most of the time, and each day strive to do one thing better than the day before, even if that means my sheets actually get washed so I don’t have to sleep on a bare mattress.

But seriously, I am lucky to have the grace that I’ve been given because I went from delivering photos in 2 weeks, to now being closer to 4. Life.

In June I got my real estate license. (crazy, right?!) Why add another thing. It didn’t seem that crazy, and I actually get really giddy when I get to see into houses and get creepily excited when I walk into a house and can tell the difference between granite and quartz countertops.

It’s the little things.

..but there will come a time where the younger generation will come busting in and already be 5 steps ahead because they’ve been killing it on snapchat for years. They will take over, and it’s the cycle of life, and it’s good…..but by then I’ll be in my second midlife crisis, a Real Estate Agent that takes photos sometimes. :)

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At least once within every hour of the day I feel like I’m failing, but then there’s the “Love you, Mom” picture on the fridge, the “Bye Mom, see you after school” when I drop the kids off, the life grip hug from my 3 year old. The laughs and smiles on photos in the gallery I delivered last night to a client, and the happiness in a first time home buyer when they get handed the keys to their first house. GOLD.

So me, photographer, real estate agent, 4 kids and a cat. (Someone please give me a hashtag I can use) :)

One more thing….“Never stop doing your best because someone doesn’t give you credit”

We’re moms, dads, whatever. We don’t need credit, we have children that will literally look at us in the face and tell us the spaghetti we just made them sucks, and the fact that they don’t have matching socks has ruined their day. We’re all busy, our lives will feel out of hand at least once in our lifetime, survival of the fittest. Co-parenting, that’s for another day…but seriously where is our support group.

We’ve made it this far, and our kids may not have matching socks, and our clients and/or boss may not think we’re awesome all the time….but high five yourself anyway.

Oh…and be kind. It’s free.

xoxo - Whit